he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
