You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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