brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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