The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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