kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
