I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
