Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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