Don't make out with my wife yet
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
