it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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