Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
