Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I will be naked everywhere
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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