I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
