plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
