my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
