I want to stick my p in your. b.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
