YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
