Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
