I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
