I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
