So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
