Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just gift wrapped bread.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
