True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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