who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
