therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
