and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
