im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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