I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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