you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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