Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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