Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
