problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
