dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I AM VODKA MAN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
