doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My cat gives me a boner
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
