Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
