just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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