did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
