That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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