I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
