Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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