thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
