the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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