Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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