Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
