So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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