Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
