I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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