I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
