if you like me you must not know who I am
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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