"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
