Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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