Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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