I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
