i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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