If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
