Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
