Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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