We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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