Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
