the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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