the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
