Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
